Fathers Day, 2019

This day can be a day of joy or sadness and sometimes both for many, myself included.

My pappa left this earth when I was a little girl and I was raised by my dear sweet mom.

Yet, there is still not a day that goes by when I don’t talk with him. I know that Fathers Day can be painful for some, yet I choose to live a life that makes my father proud. There is really nothing anyone can say to fill the void of losing a parent, whether by them being plucked from the universe for pain, divorce or some other circumstance, life will never be the same.

Does it leave scars ……of course.

Certainly, it’s optimal to grow up having two loving parents …… but this is the ‘real’ world and things happen. It will hurt and we will be broken but not forever. I choose to live a joy-filled life remembering all the positives and blessings I did have with my pappa.

I know that he was special and I was one of the lucky ones. I also know that unfortunately, not all men are good fathers. And yet we …… their children can still become great parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles. We can become great leaders and mentors.

There are many days that I will feel the pain of losing my parents and not just on Fathers Day or Mothers Day. No matter how old you are when your parents die, a piece goes missing. I also know that I am not alone, for many, Fathers Day is like putting salt on the wound.

And you know what, it’s okay to mourn the loss of your father. You are not alone.

 I will say special prayers, I may sit in quiet contemplation or I may listen to certain songs. This pain may have a jagged edge and yet I know that life goes on. It must. I know that my father is always with me and so is my mom. I feel their energy and power.

My belief and faith comes from within. I do believe it is not something that can be forced upon you, as it will then be meaningless.

I want to be the daughter that makes him proud. The daughter that is filled with so much love and light, that he never loses his way back home.

I miss you Pappa.

I love you Pappa.

Always Always.

❤️